The Worst Pain

I’ve stubbed my toe on the couch, end tables, walls, door jambs, appliances and even shoes. Once, I went floating down the Comal River with my brother and some of his friends, the end result causing me to have to wear sandals to work for a full week because of the sunburn on my feet. This was an office job. Speaking of the office, I mustn’t fail to mention all the paper cuts.

Growing up I would often suffer from migraine headaches, usually causing me to become sick. Later on in life alcohol would cause me to be sick, then lead to headaches. A hangover headache can be pretty severe all over, but especially behind the eyes.

In my advanced age I take naps regularly. Seldom do I come out of these midday slumbers unscathed. Crick in my neck? Yep. Stiff ankle? Sure thing. Frozen back? Why not. A pain in my knees and elbows that makes me wish they would fall off? Good. Night.

At the tinder age of twenty-one I developed kidney stones. It started with a slight discomfort, like I had to use the restroom. Over the next hour if moved from discomfort to totally unbearable. I ended up driving to my mom’s house and having her take me to the emergency room. Looking back it would’ve been quicker to go myself, but I’d never been through anything like this before. I couldn’t stand, sit or lie down, nothing made it better. It’s the worst pain I’d felt, up until then.

Pain is a tricky thing. It’s inevitable, necessary,  essential, imminent and unavoidable. Pain isn’t always bad. Without pain we wouldn’t know what pleasure is. Every yin must have its yang. This doesn’t keep it from hurting us though. I could take all the instances of pain listed above and put them in order from least to worst, but the list wouldn’t be complete. Nothing would come out on top as The. Worst. Pain. That’s because The. Worst. Pain. is Love.

Love comes in all different shapes, sizes and categories. Here are some of my love-pains.

A grandfather who will never make the greatest tasting spaghetti sauce, ever again.

An aunt who is slipping further and further into dementia.

The brother who has PTSD, and knows it, but still might need some help.

A grandmother who will never comb and braid her very long, grey hair again.

The buddy who definitely has PTSD, and almost ended it all.

The girl who lived happily ever after, with someone else.

There are many more, too many to list. The thing is, I’m still here. I’m still alive, I’m still moving forward.

The pain hurts, but it passes.

As Shawn Mullins would say – Everything’s Gonna be Alright, Rockabye.

*Featured Imagine Credit: The image was taken from a blog site that is no longer in existence. If you know where credit should go please say so.



12 thoughts on “The Worst Pain

  1. Uhm…yeah! I have experienced some significant pain myself from broken bones, kidney stones, surgeries…especially tonsillectomy at age 36..OMG! There isn’t another person on this planet I dislike enough to wish that on!!!! But there is nothing like the pain of love lost..or the pain one can inflict on you when you love them like a child or spouse or other loved one. I too have lost wonderful grandparents, a parent, in-laws and more than one friend. I am getting to the age where classmates are starting to pass away as well as many of my friends who are also losing parents. I turned 51 last Sunday….
    Loved your post! It is all true! “Just remember I love you and it will be alright!” Firefall 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  2. This is beautiful, BroJo. 🙂
    There is a light at the end of the tunnel for PTSD too but, they have to want the help. It’s a messy disorder with a lot of triggers. I was able to come out of it – somewhat functional. It took me years of intense therapy sessions, though. You have to put in the work to get the results. It is not easy at all.

    I admire your positive outlook. I think it’s something everyone can learn from.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Commenting on the complete post, even if the other site won’t let me post….

    Who SAYS your grandpa isn’t still making the second best spaghetti sauce now? (First best is Cherie’s.)

    Sez WHO that your grandma (? I forgot already!) isn’t still braiding her hair every so often?

    You’re right about the pain, though. Essential. I hate it. But I realize how essential it is.

    As premortal spirits, we could experience NO physical pain – OR pleasure.

    How can you learn Love without first learning Sacrifice?

    How can you learn Sacrifice without first learning Pain?

    At my sixth decade, I can safely say there’s more pain in everyday anything – which sort of reminds me that I’m still kicking, still complaining, still repenting. If I live long enough, maybe I’ll get it all right.

    *jeep! and God Bless!
    —-Grandpa Chet

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I’m reminded rather of Julian of Norwich’s “Revelations of Divine Love”. She says “All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all shall be well”. Also “this too will pass” and “love”. We have pain because of love, and we know we are loved because Love paid the ultimate sacrifice.

    Love will win out in the end.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Howdy! This blog post could not be written any better!
    Looking through this article reminds me of my previous
    roommate! He always kept talking about this. I will send
    this information to him. Pretty sure he’s going to have a great read.
    Thanks for sharing!


  6. This is a fantastic blog entry and just so damn true!!!

    Id take anything over the pain im feeling right now. The pain in my back that is slowly degenerating and was made crippling by car accident last year… that i sit here right now knowing that its going to be the biggest effort to get out of car again let alone walk 100mtrs!!! I know… sounds ridiculous but true…. then have specialist poke n prod for rhe lawyers to work on settlement for accident….

    Ill take it all over the heart ache that im feeling right now…. the empty, alone, numb, so intensly sad feeling that is me broken… my heart shattered!!!!

    Really great piece!!! 👌


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