Over the next two weeks (4/7, 4/9, 4/14, and 4/16) I’m going to post some notes, thoughts, comments and other awesomeness I’ve received in letters from our favorite Jail-Dino, Rarasaur. Some of it will be uplifting. Some of it will be a struggle. And some of it will be silly. But, that’s fitting, right? Our lives, and our stories, run the full spectrum of ups and downs as we go about trying to survive and thrive, and prison life is no different.
While I have edited the following, I’ve kept her intent intact as much as I could.
These are her words, as she wrote them to me and to all of you.
These are Rara’s stories.
Today is my 42nd day here and I’m acting like it’s my 1,000th. You know, no one here knows the significance of 42. There’s no geeks here. Sometimes I hear truly painful thoughts, like – “Hulk squish!” or “The only movie I liked Harrison Ford in was Sabrina.” Or “How did Martha Kent give birth to Superman anyway? Wouldn’t he have destroyed her?” Points go to the girl on the last one because she knew Martha’s name, even though she loses 7 million points for not knowing that Superman is an alien.
I cleaned the vents in the room today. They were nasty. Oh, the joys of simple days. Right now it’s almost two, and I get nervous waiting to see if I’ll be called for work. I don’t want to be fired for the first time in my life – in prison. Ha! But, it’ll be what it’ll be. Whatever happens, happens.
There’s this Native American story I’ve been thinking of lately, about a chief who tells the shamaan that he has two wolves fighting in his heart. One wolf is brave, strong, loving – but defensive of her space. The other is angry, ferocious, anxious, and aggressive. All the bad things. The chief is worried and asks the shaman, “Which wolf will win?” And the shaman says, “The one you feed.” Simple.
So, I am dedicating myself to feeding the right wolf, the one fueled by good things like hope and faith. I don’t know if I can starve away the bad wolf, but at least I can make it so the good wolf has a fightin’ chance.